Parenting........

If you have kids you know this can be a loaded topic. There are so many styles and opinions on parenting. And what happens if you are in the middle of parenting and decide you want to change how you parent? HA! it's not that easy. You have essentially molded these little humans and changing them is not easy. Have you tried to change yourself? Yeah not easy, yet we think it should be easy to have our kids change.

I look at my kids and wonder why I was able to have them and become a parent. What if I screw them up? Am I really fit to be a mom? I have so many questions and insecurities. I love my kids with all of my heart. They are my world. I can't imagine a life without them. When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd say a mommy. That was literally my dream. Now my dream has come true and I wonder why LOL.

My kids know that I love them and would do anything for them. But I also am the type of person who likes things a certain way. When it's not that way I feel stressed and irritable. With 6 people, all different types and personalities, under one roof doing things the way they think is right, I have a lot of stress lol. Some days I want to run away and live in my own little clean house. I need a space that is my own where no one else is allowed to go. But unfortunately I do not have the budget for that. So, I tell myself that they will be grown up before I know it. Then I will have a clean house and probably be lonely and miss the kids lol.

Out of all the advice I received when I found out I would be a mother, none of them warned me about teenagers, emotions, the unworthy feeling, the fights, the arguments, the sleepless nights (after the infant stage), the worry and stress, and other things I just can't think of right now. I wish I knew the perfect answer, but for me it is pray for guidance and do the best I know how. Gray hair, wrinkles and a headache are what rules my life. But I have become okay with it. It is my life, the life I wanted. I am grateful and blessed. If you have anything you want to share, please do.

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